Since I can honestly say I've had many, many more bad and ugly friendships to date rather than good, healthy friendships, I have learned quite a bit, and been changed beyond belief.
Lesson 1.
Teen and Pre-teen girls are by far the meanest individuals I have ever met.
They can say something hurtful, rude, cruel, and life-ruining in about 3 words. They have no feeling when it comes to hurting someone else, yet when they get hurt, watch out! I was raised to respect others, treat them how you want to be treated, if you can't say something nice then don't say anything, and not everyone is as fortunate as I am so treat everyone equally...clearly they were raised by angry people who did not want their child to have friends, none of them had heard these rules before (or so you'd think).
Lesson 2.
You and your best friend will fight sometimes, but to an extent.
I always felt like if we had one little fight, we'd never be friends again. Not remotely true. But when the fights are daily explosions of hatred and anger, the friendship might be over, just a little heads up. You will feel differently about things, and you need to stand up for your feelings and beliefs, not go against those just to keep the peace with your friend. If you don't, you'll never stand up for anything and you will fall for everything.Lesson 3.
It is NEVER okay for your friends to talk crap about you behind your back.
I had a friend who tried to get me and her cousin to hate each other. She'd make up things "I had said" and tell her cousin and do the same thing to her cousin. Messed up? Very. And when we went to Disney World together, my best friend did not talk to me for 3 out of 7 days. Not okay. And it was all because I didn't tell her about how I was friends with her cousin when we were in elementary or middle school. Pathetic.
Lesson 4.
Don't ever let a friend control you.
I didn't know I was being controlled until I was no longer in the friendship. Things got very ugly, very quickly. It opened my eyes to a lot of things in my life I need to watch out for, and in a way, I am thankful it happened. At least it was then, versus later in my life when it could really ruin something.My friends have not always been my best decisions, but they have taught me a lot about who I am, who I want to be, how I act and treat others, and how my decisions can affect my entire life and even others around me. They have made me stronger and taught me how to stand up for myself and what I believe in, regardless of what my friends think. If they are really your friends, they will be by your side through thick and thin and will accept you for who and what you are.
Friends like to feel as though they have control because that makes them feel better about their own flaws. I have seen a few friends allow themselves to be controlled by someone and I tried to helped them, but was unsuccessful.
ReplyDeleteFour very true lessons. Teen guys and pre-teen guys are in a similar boat, but not as much from what I've seen. Sadly, I could label every girl in my grade to if she was(or is) a brat girl or not. It was a high result.
ReplyDeleteI'm one who has online friends, and my closest friend on here, well, he's afraid to lose me whether I am mad at him or vice versa. Honestly, I really can't hate the guy, because he's a great friend. My only fear with him is honestly if I try to use him. He's an artist, and a bit of an animator. I don't want to use him to get any free art or anything, even though he's really good.
These are great lessons for friends. I remember in junior high who girls were always acting like your best friends but constantly talking bad about you behind your back, so stupid.
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