Happy Not so Sweet 16th birthday Alexa!

When I turned 16, I was hoping to get a surprise car... So when I woke up to find nothing, I was disappointed. So while all of my friends got cars and I didn't I was sad, but I was even more sad that my parents gave all of my other siblings cars when they got their license except me. So I got a job, and after working there for a month, I got a loan, and bought my own car.
As happy as I was to have a car, it wasn't the same. I was extremely proud of myself and happy that I worked hard and got what I deserved. I had a car, I paid for it, and it was mine. So now if I got in trouble, my mom cold not take my car away- like I knew would be her first go to. I had something for me to be proud of. Yet, the fact that my parents had given all of my other 4 siblings but me, a car, kind of scarred me. Did I not deserve it? Had my straight A's, accelerated classes, and drive to succeed not been enough? Apparently not. Even though I put in hard work, did my best to help out around the house, it was no enough. But it changed me.

My parents not getting me a car made me stronger and gave me a reason to be proud and prove to myself I don't need them, I am fully capable of getting what I want on my own, the right way, by working hard and deserving to get what I want. It gave me an extra drive to push myself to be a better individual and to be more independent. Me buying my own car showed me that I can be independent and take care of myself, and if someone wants to shoot me down, go for it. I will show you. I can and I will do it.

perception.

Listening to my Grandparents talk to my mom about what they heard about my cousins and my Aunt floored me. I myself was incomplete disbelief. But it was more shocking about how my grandparents were not proud of them, they were disgusted. I never wanted my grandparents to be disgusted with me. I was more concerned about how they saw me than how anyone else saw me. They were the people who I respected most, they are the people who I want to please, I want them to tell their friends about the wonderful things their granddaughter has done.
My grandparents have always been very helpful and loving, and I would not ever want to disappoint them. They were always talking about how they cannot believe this or that and I never wanted that. This changed me to make me work harder, to be more determined and be someone they are proud of. Hearing the things that my cousins have done to make my grandparents less proud of them has been beyond eye opening, I cherish every time my grandparents ask me how I'm doing and say how proud they are of me, it makes me melt. It makes me feel so good, and feel like all of my hard work has paid off. No matter what they push me to be better without even realizing it.
My mom told me to never do anything that I wouldn’t want to go tell my grandparents about. And I have held that in my head with everything that I do. I always hold my head up high and stay true to myself and my beliefs because I would never want to tell them why I did something, and have the reason be because I was being a follower. They taught me to be a leader and I will be nothing less.

talk....write.....grammar?

Okay. So we all know someone who is notorious for saying 'seen' instead of 'saw', 'aksed' instead of 'asked', but what gets me is did one of their teacher or parents really honestly think it was just a phase? Yet, living in the world, in this country, you see and talk to someone every day who says it, and no matter how much training and education that individual might have, that one grammar switch can make them look like they have never even heard of a classroom. 

I have always tried so hard to write properly, which can be much easier than speaking, yet when you're really going at it, it's easy to slip a few. But I cannot stand when people speak incorrectly. Okay, Okay sure everyone says 'me and Sarah' instead of 'Sarah and I', that one doesn't bother me as much, I get it. But when you say the wrong tense and it almost doesn’t make sense, I'm sorry, go take a class only on grammar. 

I get sometimes everyone slips, it’s human nature, we forgive you, but when people repeatedly tell you the correct way to say something because you sound like an idiot and all you say is 'yeah whatever' and continue on, you should just stop right there.

A huge writing error that drives me insane is the mix up of there, their, and they're; two, too, and to; witch and which; weather and whether; homonyms- homographs and homophones.

Seriously? You learn these multiple times in elementary school, and go over them in middle and high school and you still don't know? Even on social networking sites-- Facebook-- I cannot stand when people use the wrong one. I get you may be in a hurry or whatever, but come one you're how old? Potential employers and even colleges look at these now and you're going to let that ruin your chances of being accepted or getting the job? Embarrassing.

These things have changed me so much. It has made me watch out for what I say and when I write, how I write. I do use correct grammar when writing, even on Facebook or in a text; you never know who is looking at it. Plus, I don't want to sound or look like an idiot. Sure I sometimes say me instead of I as in the Sarah example above but that is it. And honestly, it still makes sense.

those nights

Those nights. We've all had them. The ones that honestly are just so amazing you can't even find words for them, and you don't even know what made them so amazing. But they make you smile and take your breath away every time you think about them. You know, the ones that go all night until the sun starts coming up...yeah, those ones. I know it probably sounds a little dumb, but they have changed me. Those nights I sit on my roof, and stare up at the stars and just think and wonder about everything for hours, until I see the sun starting to rise and I realize I had better get inside and sleep before I have to be up. I think about all of things I can be, and all of the things I can and will do, and how I wish I could change the world, and how I want my dream future to be, where everything turns out right. Those are the nights that give me my drive and my push to be something and be someone.
They all start out with music, it gets me into this mode and I can't run away from it. Sometimes those nights are just me by myself and other times it’s with a friend.
Those nights change me even more. They make me realize how lucky I am, and I laugh and smile until I have a six pack of abs and a muscle frozen face. Through the pain of smiling and laughing it makes me so appreciative of everything I have and everything that I am. I just become amazed and in complete awe of the universe and the world we live in. I over think everything and I try to figure out impossible things and it makes me a lot more conscience of the world and the Earth around me and I just feel like I am on top of the world and invincible.
It's like I cannot even explain how those nights are so amazing, because if I really think back to it, it was average. I was with my normal friends and we were doing normal hang-out nothings and something about it all was completely perfect and almost once-in-a-life-time-esque. And I try to explain it to others and they look at me like I should be in a circus, but inside I know that those nights changed me forever, and even though I can't explain it, I can feel it and I know it’s there. And sometimes, that is all that matters.

Society...Puh-lease.

Okay, so people base their entire self-esteem on something cannot even choose which side it’s on? That is ridiculous. Society says being "skinny" is what’s attractive, but then three minutes later it says loving your curves and being whatever way you are is perfect. So which is it?? I think even society is wondering.

Who is society anyways? Who says they deem what’s good and what’s bad, what’s hot and what’s not, what’s in and what’s out? I sure don't. I've always been one to march to the beat of my own drum, and when I was little I didn't know a thing about what anyone else thought, all I knew is what I thought about myself. I still only think that way. I don't go work out just because some imaginary people say being thin is what’s attractive...honestly do you think I care? I do not. One bit. No one is going to tell me how I want to feel or look, or what I want to do or say. I can and will make my own decisions; no one else will do it for me. But those imaginary people have made me stronger and a more independent and strong minded person. I don't change who I am for anyone else and I do what I want. If I feel like wearing sweatpants, I will. I wasn't born with a brain so someone else can control me; I don't see any of the connecting wires leaving my body...do you? I think everyone should just throw Society and its stupid thoughts out the window and make your own life about your own thoughts and feelings, not someone else’s.

In high school, I finally had a class worth taking. Teen-lit. Sounds stupid, I thought so too, but what my teacher did with it was amazing. She honestly taught real life lessons and things that everyone should understand. She taught us things that other teachers thought to be un-educational. Yeah right! I learned more in the 1 semester I had of that class, than I did my entire school career leading up to that semester of senior English.
That class alone, made a huge impact on what Society had to say to me....and it was officially nothing. Society has definitely taught me to do my own thing and be my own person and not be another measly follower.